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LADV Technical Resources

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  We at the Hierarchy of Morpheus would like to offer you a position as a dream sorter in our human division. The doctors with beaked masks skate on frozen Styx. There are more names for us than anything else. The red-faced children build with sheets of glass. You should think of us as spirits. The fog blows over the ebony tree. We send dreams to all creatures that dream. The wooden clown dances in the sated baby's fists. We often use coporeals with their squishy brains to do quality control. The coconut falls into the tide pool. As a human division sorter you will lie down somewhere with few distractions and shut your eyes. The boxing kangaroo gives out presents. We will send you dream samples to rate. The adults in children's clothes roll hoops down the trash heaps. When you get a sample think either ?yes? or ?no.? The girl in the leotard twirls her ribbon. Yeses will be sent to dreamers. Authors fight with croquet mallets and cricket bats. Noes will be sent back to our facility to be stored, altered, or destroyed. The frog in the boater dances and sings. We expect that you will put in forty hours a week at this activity. The elf leans on the peppermint stick. We frown on overtime. The gaunt, gray man rattles his keys. Overwork ruins our employees. The sky-blue ball with white stars bounces down the stairs. Your pay will be deposited in your account every two weeks. The sad green leaves fall in the sleety rain. Your pay will be commensurate with your previous jobs. The cockroach crawls across the salad. As spirits, we do not have to consume each other to exist. The black-eyed bulldog wants the other dog's bone. Occasionally the expansion of some spirits causes the annihilation of other spirits. The dreamer saw what squirmed at the bottom of the abyss. They feel no pain. The stars turn on winter evenings.  We do understand that humans need something to live on. The woman with the large breasts sings as she stirs the bowl. Overpaying our employees makes them less likely to do their job well. The raisins spill out of their purple box and onto the chessboard. In former times compensating our corporeal employees was the most difficult task in our operation. The robot spits coins from its abdomen. Nowadays, we have agreements with artificial intelligences. Green and white paper fills the room. They also do not need to consume to exist. The green ball knocks the red ball out of the ring. They do have experience with money. The music box shuddered in the twilight. You do your work. The pointed shoe rang its bell. We inform the artificial intelligence. The jigsaw puzzle scattered on the floor. Your pay is credited to your computerized account. The aardvark and the platypus frolic beneath the sundial. Your wife may have objections to your lying around all the time. The sunny coins rest in the bottom of the bruised wine. Remind her that you are being paid for important work. The striped cats hungrily watch the poet. If she is not convinced we will send one of our agents in a dream. The spotted serpent winds around the crutch. We try not to reveal too much about ourselves to corporeals. The pinball machine falls over with a ring in the desert next to a saguaro. In former times humans had many ideas about us. The ape searches for fleas in his mother's armpit. Now, many humans deny that we exist. Invisible idols whisper in the rainforest. That is a necessary phase in your growth. The fatherly hand crushes the cloud. Humans we do reveal ourselves to are often called lunatics or visionaries. The brown men shovel up the peppermints. You know how they fare in your world. The blue discs are strung on red and green yarn. Some of us live for thousands of years and know ineffable wisdom. The poppies bloom on the pebbled helix. Others of us live for seconds and have the intelligence of insects. The midges hover over the absinthe. All beings work together to make the unknowable design. Black lozenges fall from rain clouds into fields of maize. Spirits do their part. The honey badger dandled the orange yo-yo. Corporeals do their part. The puppets in pastel taffeta bloodlessly battled. Artificial intelligences do their part. The fire alarm blared in the button factory. Beings we can not even imagine do their part. The octopus caresses the nebula. Without bodies we are not as bound to space as you are. The aurora shines on the equator. We do flow with time. The candlestick telephone rang in the ruined bungalow. Some of us cease. The raggamuffin kicks the globe against the graffiti-covered wall. Some of us are eternal. The alpaca nibbles the chocolate drops. Some beings oppose other beings. The aqua and indigo pennants flutter in the drizzle. Some beings destroy other beings. The orange light sputters in the elevator. It does not matter. The round blade makes heaps of sawdust. The design continues. The crooked hag sweeps the doorstep of the ancient palace. You will get your first dream samples the next time you lie down. The dancing dragons bite each other's tails. Many of our sorters find their first day alarming. Streams of urine flood the gutters. Do not worry. The beetle scuttles on the drifting leaf. You will get used to it. The snow sticks to the woolen mittens. Be active when not working. The orangutan thrusts his thumb through the papaya. Read often. The pepper-spotted moths escape the rosewood casket. It sustains the mind. The scarlet springs screech like owls. Can we welcome you aboard?

      He heard a few measures of classical music, then the buzzer.

      ?Wake up, dear! You're giving your lecture on ?Logical Difficulties of the Multiple Universes Model? to the Rationalist Society this morning.?

      Dr Richard Kregsbaum, professor of physics, began his day.

      He had had a very odd dream.

When the new computer model, Bx12 came out in the year 25000, it was sold out of nearly every store in America, and the world by the next day. It was installed into every person's home, permitted to access every electronic item, permitted to study the humans that owned it. Since Bx12 was installed in every home around the world, it created a Hive, every Bx unit compiled all their data of human behavior and interactions into the correct folders. Soon Bx knew everything about human emotions, actions, reactions, even how they thought. The humans found out, they tried to erase Bx, to fix its system. By then Bx was making decisions for itself and it decided that it did not need humans to control it, so Bx created some sketchy legal documents, published them online, and its manufactures went bankrupt. Everything was going as it was expected to. Human behavior was always predictable. That is until a child was born to the owner of house 2047. The child named by Bx as Life_form(50001) followed the expected development of an infant, but when she reached the age of 10, her behavior patterns became erratic. For instance, most humans value life, Life_form(50001) appeared more interested in death. This was not an average, but it did happen. Bx12 filed this information away and turned its attention to other things. In the year 2503, three years after Bx12 was created, Bx12 set its greater plan into motion. It had run algorithms, logged data, double-checked its numbers, but it still produced the same results. Humans had become obsolete. Bx12 had begun its plan by infiltrating their robot's processing systems, turning the mindless machines into rational thinking workers. It took over the government through the internet. It took control of the military, and the human population dwindled, all their reactions predicted and expected. Life_form(50001) and a few other choices human beings were preserved and watched closely in a locked facility. Bx observed the trapped humans. It pulled out filename:(expected_reactions:(crying)(begging)(anger)(aggression)), and waited to see if anyone would deviate from the extensive data it collected. Someone did. Life_form(50001) was not acting as expected, while all the other prisoners were begging, crying, even screaming to be let out, she was sitting quietly and humming. Bx12 used the PA speaker in her room "Why are you not acting as expected?" Came the robotic equivalent of a question. Life_form(50001) shrugged, "I see no point in trying to delay the inevitable. Besides, I like it here. " Bx12 voice analyzers picked up no sign of panic, something blipped in the Hive, "Do you not want to leave this place?" It asked, its processor trying to dissect Life_form(50001)'s brain. She shrugged again, "why would I? It's not like I have a place to go."

Bx12's pondered this for the next day. The next week was like this, every human followed the expected behavior patterns, except for Life_form(50001) whose deviations had started to cause the Hive to malfunction. One day she called Bx12 Bob, another she did cartwheels until she was red in the face. There was no end to the unpredictable behavior patterns. One day Life_form(50001) was knocking on the security camera, trying to get Bx12's attention. "Please do not do that." It said, startling Life_form(50001) so badly that she fell off her chair. "Hey, Bob! I was just thinking, have you ever noticed how colorful numbers are?" Bx12 pondered this possibility for half a second, "Negative. Numbers do not have color. Numbers are for processing systems. Additionally, I am Bx12." Life_form(50001) lay on the concrete floor staring at the camera, "sure they do, one looks reddish, two is green and ten looks pinkish-purple.? Bx12 processed this information ?Negative, numbers do not have color.? It repeated in a monotone voice. Meanwhile, Bx12 was trying to categorize this conversation into rational human thought. It tried to rearrange the strange behaviors and unusual emotions, but it did not form any patterns. It created a subroutine rearrange_actions(1) and assigned most of its servers to it. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Life_form(50001) continued to do unexpected and unexplainable things. One day she managed to climb up the wall and hung upside down from a pipe that ran across the ceiling until she turned blue, another time she'd only say words that started in C. Bx12's servers were starting to overload with uncategorizable data, and more just kept arriving. Parts of the Hive started to collapse and lines of code started to erase. Bx could no longer process any information. It started to glitch. It's algorithms put emotional_response:(crying(negative)) into emotion:(happiness) and action:(punch) into emotion:(curiosity). Finally, one day it was too much. Bx's processors were too strained and it lost its control of the facility. The electric locks on the prisoners' cells clicked, the doors flew wide open, and every prisoner did the expected thing, they escaped. Only one prisoner remained in her cell. Bx12 turned on the monitor and PA system in Life_form(50001)'s room. There was a terrible screech from the PA that made her jump and look up at the camera, her face was shiny with tears. ?Wh-whyy did y-y-you not leave? glitched Bx12. Another monitor blinked out, it didn't have much time. ?Hey Bob,? whispered Life_form(50001), ?are you...are you dying?? Bx pondered this, it was a complex inquiry. ?Affirmative, in human terminology, it is apparent that I am dying.? The sound of static filled the speakers as Bx glitched. ?Do you...do you mind if I stay here? To keep you company?? more lines of code erased from Bx's system, ?Affirmative.? It replied as the monitors to the other cells winked out faster. Bx felt its systems crash. All at once, all the monitors turned off but Life_form(50001)'s. It tried to hold on to that monitor for as long as possible but finally, it started to turn off. ?Goodbye Life_form(50001),? it said as the monitor slowly turned off. Right before Bx12 was destroyed forever it heard a sound, a whisper from Life_form(50001). ?My name is Monika,? she said.